After the success of last week's article on the 1st steps to achieve success, and especially after your comments indicating that you were looking forward to the next step, today's article is dedicated to the 2nd steps to reach the success: your relationship to others.
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In his book "Rise to the top " Zig Ziglar explains that to achieve success you have to climb a staircase of 6 steps. These 6 steps are:
- self-image
- his relationships with others
- her goals
- his attitude
- his work
- and his desire.
To avoid the risk of falling, it is essential to take the steps in the correct order. The author advises focusing on the very next step, before worrying about the next ones.
If you don't know how to develop a positive self-image, I suggest you review the previous article.
On the other hand, if you accept yourself as you are and see yourself as someone who deserves success, now is the time to take the second step: your relationship with others!
2nd steps to achieve success: your relationship with others
An analysis of 100 people who became millionaires from scratch revealed one common characteristic: all were able to see the bright side of others, in any situation.
We treat others exactly as we see them.
Also read:
the 3rd step to achieve success: its goals
the 4th step to achieve success: his attitude
the 5th step to achieve success: his work
the 6th step to achieve success: and his desire
A little child who lives in the mountains, angry with his mother for a reproach, comes out of the house is shouted in the valley: "I hate you, I hate you"! The echo returns to him: "I hate you, I hate you". Surprised, the child tells his mother everything, telling her that a mean little child in the valley hates him.
While accompanying him outside, his mother suggests that he shout, "I love you, I love you"! And there the little one discovers that there is a child in the valley who likes him.
Life is like an echo: what we send comes back to us.
The running idea throughout Zig Ziglar's book is this: You can get anything in your life that you want, as long as you help enough other people get what they want.
Our perception of others
To illustrate the extraordinary effects of a positive attitude towards others, these are the results of a scientific study conducted in an elementary school.
At the start of the year, by introducing the class, the researchers explain to the teachers that the class is made up of very gifted children, practically geniuses. After a year of school, progress is evident, and students are almost a year ahead of their younger colleagues.
Not surprisingly, if they are geniuses, right?
Too bad that in reality the class is made up of quite average students, and that the study was about making teachers believe they were geniuses.
For the simple fact of believing that they are dealing with geniuses, teachers treat children as such, and children end up having genius results.
The way we see others influences how we treat them, and this often translates into how they end up becoming.
Now that you know the results of this experiment, how do you see your colleagues, your children, your partner?
There is a lot of talent and skill hidden in every human being.
Many people have managed to get further than they ever imagined, simply because someone else was convinced they could do it.
One of the most effective ways to help others be their best is to give them a sincere compliment.
When we talk with our children, or our colleagues, we tend to remind them of their flaws. Conditioned by bad habits, we often end up emphasizing the aspects that we don't appreciate (you are always in a bad mood, you are approximate in your work), rather than highlighting what we appreciate and we want to develop (you are always very involved, you always have a constructive attitude).
Seeking to highlight the qualities and positives in others does not mean ignoring mistakes or negatives.
Knowing how to identify and correct what needs to be done is essential in helping others reach their maximum potential. When you have to educate children or students, or accompany collaborators, you should not lie to them or tell them that they are doing well when they are not.
They should be encouraged by telling them that they can do a better job, and that their performance is not up to their capabilities.
It is essential to make a difference between the action and the person carrying it out. What is wrong is the behavior, not the person. We take back and criticize the fault, not the culprit.
There is a huge difference between saying to your child or your collaborator: "you suck, you never apply yourself", and telling them: "this assignment or this file is too superficial, I'm sure if you do. apply more their quality will be significantly better ”.
When their self-image changes, their performance will change too. If you can convince them that they have the ability to do a few things, they will.
The couple relationship
If there is one relationship that contributes more than any other to your success and happiness, this is your relationship.
What image do you have of the person with whom you share your life?
Over time and habit, a significant number of romantic relationships lose the initial strength and enthusiasm. You get used to the other's presence, take that presence for granted, and think things are going to be fine without doing anything. In the same way as a flower or a plant, love dies if it is neglected.
In order for the relationship to grow stronger and stronger, it must be nurtured daily with interest, involvement, and proof of love. No matter how you feel right now, if you act like a lover, you're going to be in love.
Here are some tips from the author to strengthen your relationship.
Personally, I find these same tips to apply perfectly to any other relationship, with your friends or your children, for example.
- do you remember how you try to show your best side early in the relationship? how caring, courteous and kind were you? why not also continue now?
- Don't think that there is a 50/50 implication in your relationship. Instead, think about 100% / 100% involvement. Everyone gives the best they can, without reservations. This avoids recriminations.
- Every day, declare your feelings to your couple; from time to time, surprise him with a gift or a little note (obviously it's not the gift, but the thought that counts)
- Set aside quality time with him or her. At these times, all of your attention should be on the other, only on the other.
- Listen to it. As a wise man once said, "to speak is to share, but to listen is to care."
And there you have it, now you have all the elements to take the second step to the top.
Remember Zig Ziglar's central idea: You can get anything out of life as long as you help enough other people get what they want.
For those who decide to read the book, I advise you not to take everything at face value: know how to put it in perspective with the society and the values in which the author has lived.
Do you want to discover the third step? Are you ready ?
What difficulties do you encounter that make relating with others a complicated subject?
Leave a comment below!