book on "The Laws Of Human Nature" by Robert Green
Have you ever been surprised (and not necessarily in the right way) by the reaction of a colleague, your boss or even a friend or relative? Or even by your own reaction to this situation, as if a stranger lived inside you?
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In fact, if we were able to delve deeper into our knowledge of human nature, if we knew how to pierce the surface and our simplifications, we could gain a much better understanding of human behavior, of others, or of ourselves.
This is entirely possible if you learn to decipher our deep levers, the real laws that make it possible to anticipate the actions and intentions of the people around you.
This is a truly unique book of its kind !! I came across Robert Green's Laws of Human Nature quite by accident. I was fascinated by its content, and I learned a lot from it. The subject is necessarily very vast, and the book too: more than 600 pages !! Impossible to synthesize it fully in one video, so I decided to focus only on the first 7 laws presented by the author. Let me know in the comments if you like this content, and if you'd like to dig deeper into it.
We are confronted every day with our own behavior and our interactions with others. And what we observe does not cease to surprise us! We very often think that we are consciously in control of our actions and thoughts, when in reality we are guided by powerful and deep forces, often unconscious, which are typical of human nature.
Emotions like joy and gratitude, but also shame and jealousy, play a huge influence on our behavior, emotions so old in the history of human evolution that retain all their power even in the technological world of today.
Knowing and cultivating these laws allows us to observe others in a more calm and objective way, and to find more freedom in our own behavior.
As you listen to these laws of human nature, you might feel that knowing and mastering them means manipulating others. Well, know that as a social animal, since childhood we spend our lives trying to influence what other people think and do.
Knowing these laws already allows you to better resist the willful or unintentional manipulation of those around you, but also to have a more considered posture on your own influence. It can be driven more by your thoughts and values, rather than your impulses and instincts.
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1. The law of irrationality, or how to control your own emotions.
Unlike your feeling that you are in full control of your decisions and actions, your emotions play a vital role in your behavior. They push you to look for evidence that confirms what you already want to believe, they push you to bad decisions or negative tendencies.
Being able to identify your emotions, and to give more room to rationality in our decisions, is not something that happens naturally. It is a habit that we must cultivate.
We can start by paying attention to our emotions, and questioning where they come from and what they mean. We must not fall into the trap of seeing emotions as useless, bad. On the contrary: they are a very important source of information about our needs and our unconscious.
What to avoid is to decide or act in the midst of these emotions. Indeed, when we feel strong emotions, we fail to open our mind, we stay focused on one or two ideas that may satisfy our immediate desire for power or attention, but which do not address needs more. deep.
Like an athlete who improves through constant training, your rational mind becomes more flexible and resilient.
2. The law of narcissism, or how to turn self-love into empathy.
From the moment we are born, as humans we experience an inexhaustible desire for attention from others. And since it's not possible to always be the center of attention of others (our parents, our teachers, our classmates), we often end up implementing a subtle trick: we become the center of attention. our own attention, our energy turns inward. We emphasize our qualities, and excuse our faults.
In good doses, this tip is very beneficial: it allows you to achieve a correct level of self-esteem. But we have to be careful not to turn our energy completely inward. If we achieve a healthy balance, and remain open to others, naturally we have a very powerful tool for strengthening our social bonds: empathy.
Empathy is first and foremost a state of mind, which allows us to recognize that the assumptions we make about others are often incorrect and biased. We learn to approach our interactions with others as real discoveries, learning.
Recognizing our own shortcomings and limitations, we come to be more understanding and forgiving of the mistakes and shortcomings of others.
As with rationality, empathy develops through regular practice.
3. The law of role-playing, or how to see through people's masks.
Like everyone around us, we have learned to hide our insecurities and jealousies from others, and to show ourselves in the best light possible. Everyone likes to be humble, confident, conscientious.
But despite our best efforts, the emotions and impulses we try to hide continually reveal themselves through tiny signals in our body language. Over 65% of human communication is non-verbal, but in general we can only capture 5% of this information.
With a little practice, and if we pay attention to our interlocutor, it is quite possible to notice in their movements of the body, of the face, or by the intonation of their voice, that there is sometimes a dissonance between this. what the person says, and what they really think.
To do this, we must first recognize how much we are focused on our own thoughts, and ultimately observe very little. Next, we need to understand that body language is a very different type of communication from verbal communication: we need to combine our observation, our perception, and the energy emitted by our interlocutor.
And we must be aware that our interpretations can always be partial or wrong, and therefore we must always be careful not to take our conclusions as absolute.
4. The law of compulsive behavior, or how to determine the true character of people.
When choosing the people you hang out with and work with, don't be impressed by the image they project or their reputation. Instead, observe their behavior and daily habits.
If you observe negative tendencies, remember that people never do things once, they are very likely to repeat their behavior.
In order to judge the strength of character of the people around you, observe how they deal with difficulties, how they adapt and work with others, their patience and their ability to learn. People with a strong character are like gold: rare, but extremely precious.
They know how to deal with the unexpected without falling victim to anxiety, they keep their word, they know how to finish what they start.
You yourself can decide to work to strengthen your character. It starts by analyzing you in depth and getting to know you better and better. You can then orient your professional choices, as well as your social circle, so that they are well suited to your personality.
Your goal is not to become someone else, but to become the best version of yourself. To get there, work on your daily habits: the actions you repeat every day will gradually build your character.
5. The law of lust, or how to arouse the desire of others.
Very often we spend our lives focusing on our own desires. In order to amplify our influence on the world around us, we must train ourselves to focus on the desire of others, how to stimulate their fantasy and imagination.
As humans we suffer from the grass syndrome which is always greener elsewhere, we always feel that other people always have better conditions than us.
This enduring dissatisfaction has played a vital role in the survival and evolution of the human species, but if we learn to deal with it differently, it can also represent a huge opportunity.
We can try to focus more on the psychology of the people around us, and what they can expect from us, rather than always thinking about what we want from them.
There's a quote from Zig Ziglar that sums it up very well: You can get anything in your life that you want, as long as you help enough people get what they want.
Always try to deepen your relationship with the people around you, and with the environment you find yourself in.
6. The law of myopia, or how to raise your prospect.
By nature, human beings are inclined to react very intensely (with elation or panic) to their immediate situation. It is very difficult to be successful in keeping a broader perspective, not losing sight of longer term goals, when we are feeling intense emotions.
This ability to control ourselves is all the more difficult if the emotion of elation or panic is shared by the people around us.
This emotional fever is characteristic of times of euphoria or crash in the financial markets, when people lose touch with reality completely, and no longer have any hindsight in their own decisions.
Caught in the whirlwind of very intense moments, it is essential to be able to keep perspective and stay focused on our longer-term goals. Even though it is extremely difficult to go through the situation without doing anything, very often you find that it is the best possible choice.
Refraining from immediate action allows us to gain height, to better weigh the pros and cons of the choices before us, to better anticipate the positive and negative consequences of our actions in the longer term.
7. The law of the defensive, or how to soften people's resistance by confirming their opinion of themselves.
As soon as we feel pressured by others to do something, we immediately get on the defensive. Impossible then to move, even if it would be to our advantage.
Among the perception that everyone has of themselves, their own character and their worth, 3 qualities are practically universal:
- autonomy: my actions are based on my free will
- intelligence: maybe fair in some areas, but I have valuable knowledge and skills
- integrity: I am a good, honest person.
Self-perception is an integral part of our identity and our values: we refuse anything that is in contrast to this perception.
If in interactions with people you send them an image that confirms their perception of themselves, you allow them to step out of the defensive position and be genuinely open to discussion.
It's not about manipulating people: people are very sensitive to your true intentions, and if they perceive something wrong, they will be even more wary.
It’s just about showing a sincere interest in others, making them feel valued and recognized. This will allow you not to remain stuck on your positions, and to give rise to real exchanges.
Here you are now familiar with the first 7 laws of human nature according to Robert Green. You can now observe them in your interactions with others, and practice them more consciously and thoughtfully in your own life.
If this subject interests you, I suggest you see the summary dedicated to the book "The Ultimate Guide to Body Language", by Allan and Barbara Pease.
See you soon, for new ideas !!